The Life of a Very Special and Extraordinary Person -

Pat Crockford  - July 4^th 1922 to May 14^th 2018

Pat was born on 4^th July 1922 and lived in the Dorset countryside near Sherborne along with two brothers and five sisters. At the age of 2 was left without a father, leaving her Mum to bring up the family alone. Times were very hard, but got even tougher for her when her Mum died in 1934.

The local authority would not allow the younger children to be looked after by Pat’s eldest sister Ruth and as a consequence she was separated from most of her family and placed in an orphanage in Weymouth. After a few, very unhappy years she was put into service as a house and kitchen maid in the employ of a rather grumpy retired army Major at Sydling Court, a large country house near Dorchester.

It was during this period of her life that she met her beloved John. He was a Carpenter/Joiner and was working on the house replacing the roof. His words were, “I saw her walking down the stairs and I knew she was the girl for me” It really was love at first sight for both of them. The romance was not easy to manage with John living more than eleven miles away (a long way on a push bike after a hard day’s work) and Pat being ruled by the Head of the Country House, but they met whenever they could.

The outbreak of war was looming and so on 2nd May 1939, John received his call up papers and joined the Royal Artillery. The day before he was due to join his regiment he cycled out to Sydling Court to see Pat but was told by the Major that he couldn’t see her because he had a dinner party that evening and needed Pat to cook and serve the food.

Anyone who new John would know that he was not the sort of person to go away quietly, so after a few choice words about selfishness, the Major said that the only way John could see Pat that day, was for him to pay for her to be released from service and it had to be the same amount as he had paid the orphanage. The Major was obviously thinking that this would be sufficient to put off the young suitor.

With the deal struck, John cycled back to his family home and barrowed the agreed sum from his parents. He then cycled back to Sydling Court and duly paid the money over to a very surprised Major. Pat climbed aboard her old bicycle and together they cycled back to his parent’s home from where Pat lived and worked for the duration of the war. (We found out later that she was valued and bought for the princely sum of £3.00)

Pat married John on 7th June 1941 in the church at Sandford Orcas near Sherborne. Pat was getting slightly worried when John was very nearly late for the service due to his restricted leave. After the ceremony he just had enough time for a swift drink at the village pub, before heading back to his regiment.

Pat saw very little of her husband during the war, but they constantly wrote to each other throughout this grim time.

Fortunately he came through relatively unscathed and was eventually demobbed in February 1946.

Later that year they moved into an old army hut on Poundbury Camp, Dorchester, along with their first son Michael, they were extremely happy there and soon the arrival of sons David and Jim followed, both born in their ‘Hut on the hill’. Pat often reflected that whilst times were extremely hard and it was difficult to make ends meet, the three and a half years in their army hut could be numbered amongst some of the happiest days of her life.

In 1950 the family moved to a newly built house in Dorchester where she remained for 62 years. During their time in Dorchester Pat and John both worked long and hard to raise their family. Everything Pat did was for her family and others and she always put the interests of others before her own.

Pat was a brilliant cook and so the boys and John were always given the best food available to her, bearing in mind that food was still rationed at that time.

She always ensured the children went to school clean and tidy and she gave the whole family, love and support in abundance.

In 1955 she started work as a kitchen and playground assistant at a primary school not far from the family home, a job she loved because she was always caring for children in one way or another. Over a few years she progressed up to be the kitchen supervisor and so on her retirement after 25 years at the school, she was well known in all parts of Dorchester and the district, not only because so many children had eaten the food she had prepared and cooked for them, but they also got to know her whilst growing up.

Bringing up the three boys was quite a handful at times, but both her and her John brought them up to be reliable, honest, hardworking and respectful of others and the family is proud to say that she was ‘simply the best’ as a Mum and a Wife.

Her beloved John died in July 2011 at the age of 92, just over a month after they celebrated their 70^th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately Pat was not in the best of health at this time. With failing eyesight and severe arthritis problems, it was suggested that she move to Blackfield to live with her youngest son Jim and his wife Christine. She thought it to be a good idea in principal, but after over sixty one years in her own house she was understandably reticent and in truth, she didn’t want to admit that she couldn’t manage alone.

Chrissie suggested that she should come to stay over Christmas for a two week ‘trial’ and she readily agreed.

After the two week period, she realised that not only had she enjoyed freshly cooked food of her own choice, but she had also seen her three sons, some of her grandchildren on several occasions and even more of her great grandchildren on many occasions. She admitted she had thoroughly enjoyed her stay and agreed to move.

Pat found it extremely difficult to come to terms with leaving the house that she and John had shared for so many years. Where they had raised their boy's, a house filled with so much love happiness and memories, but with her usual strength and determination she knew it would be in the family’s interest, and so, at the age of 89, she prepared to leave her home to start another new chapter in her life.

On the morning of the move, the 7^th April 2012, in fact all that day, things didn’t go exactly to plan as everyone hoped it would. Pat was quite understandably upset and was somewhat confused by all the packed boxes and the many volunteer helpers loading all her belongings on to a lorry. So much so that when she came down the stairs on her stair lift she mistakenly stopped a couple of steps from the bottom and stepped off. Crash, down she went, but she insisted she was all in one piece. As a precaution she was taken to A & E for a check-up and fortunately, nothing was broken, she was just bruised.

• 1^st disaster.

   

  With everything loaded on the lorry and into several cars she began her journey to Blackfield with Chris and Jim and her cat ‘LaLa’ in a basket on the seat beside her. Before they reached Wimborne, Chris turned to talk to Mum and was horrified to see her covered in blood. ‘Lala’ was apparently also very upset by the move and Pat had put her hand into the basket to console her and was promptly given a nasty bite for her trouble. Being on blood thinning tablets meant that stemming the flow was not easy, but luckily, Chrissie is well experienced at first aid and finally after stopping the bleeding, dressing the wound and cleaning her up, they set off on the remainder of the journey.

• 2^nd disaster.

   

  That night, after her usual tot of her favourite whiskey, Jim showed his Mum how to use her new stair lift and she was watched very closely to ensure no more accidents. Success, she got up the stairs and got herself ready for bed. Chris and Jim said goodnight and left their Mum to have a good night’s rest. Five minutes later, - thump. The pair raced up the stairs to find Mum sat on the floor. She had slipped off her bed, bruising her bottom.

  She said that as she had such diddy legs she found it difficult to touch the floor. Out came the saw, the legs were removed and shortened to a suitable length and with the midnight DIY completed, Pat was finally safely installed in her new home, all be it a bit battered and bruised.

•  3^rd and thankfully, final disaster.

   

  The dramas behind her, Pat quickly settled into her new life with Chris and Jim and it became very much her home. It was very satisfying to see her enjoying her new life. She had always loved children and was so good at interacting with them, consequently she particularly liked the frequent comings and goings of her Grandchildren and many of her 15 Great Grandchildren and they always enjoyed visiting her and chatting with her. She was so pleased and proud that two years ago, with the birth of little Arabella, she became a Great Great Grandmother.

  The younger Great Grandchildren have so many precious moments they will cherish. To them, she came to be known as Nanny Cookie because they would sit with her in her rooms and have cups of tea and eat cookies. Nanny Cookie was always happy to listen to their chatter about school and what they had been doing. She also loved to listen to them singing to her and often sang along with them.

   

  In January 2016 Pat was taken ill with an infection and the Doctor said he thought that she had only about a week to live.

  Not so, she pulled through and regained a good deal of her strength, but unfortunately the illness took its toll and she needed a great deal of constant care from then on.

  Pat began her life in care and she was always afraid that she would end her life the same way and so, Jim and Chris promised their Mum that they would never let her go into a nursing home.

  They were very fortunate to secure the services of Care Company called Bluebird to help them out. The girls of Bluebird were absolutely marvellous with Pat. They were a great help in keeping her spirits up and often cheered her along and sang old time songs with her while carrying out their tasks. The echoes of ‘Knees up Mother Brown’, ‘It’s a long way to Tipperary’ and the ‘Can Can’ were heard most days from Pat’s room. The family knew she was going through her excercise routine when they heard the ‘Grand Old Duke of York’ being sung and the bump, bump, bump of Mum’s feet on the floor upstairs.

   

  Pat suffered a short illness and three days before she died she told Chris that she loved her and all the family, that she had been extremely happy living with them, but she felt she had finally had enough of this life and was ready to go and join her beloved John.

  Mum was becoming weak and Chris knew the end was coming. The family and others were able to visit and say their goodbyes. Mum was too ill for the younger Great Grandchildren to visit, so Chris played a video recording, little Sophie had made, singing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ and although Mum couldn’t actually speak she watched Sophie singing and mouthed every word along with her. With the singing completed, Sophie then said ’Love you Nanny’. Her Nanny Cookie mouthed back the same words and then they blew each other a kiss. This was a very touching moment that will be forever remembered.

  That night, Chris sat with Mum all night and played and sang along with many of Mum’s old favourite songs from the thirties and forties, which we are convinced she enjoyed, before passing peacefully away the following morning, in the manner she had wished, with close family beside her and in her own home.

   

  Since her passing, Chris and Jim have received numerous letters from people who knew Pat. Many of them contained references to how kind and thoughtful Pat had been to them at one time or another during her life.

  This probably sums up the character and life of this extraordinary woman.

  She was the best Mum anyone could ever have, she was a lovely Nanny to so many and she was so kind, considerate and loyal to her many friends.

   

   

  The family would like to say, ‘Thank you so very much’ for all the friendship and support they have received from the many people who knew and cared for Mum. A big thank you to Mum’s special nurse Laura and to all at Bluebird Care (some of whom are here today) for their kindness and support they gave to Mum and to Chris and Jim, especially in the last few difficult weeks.

   

                                                   We Love you Mum and miss you very much.